The Candy Hierarchy

Before you purchase any Swedish Fish for this year's trick-or-treaters, you might want to check out "The Candy Hierarchy".  Created by Ben Cohen (an environmental historian over at the University of Virginia) it sets out to rank candy according to "emotional zeal" or "joy induction."  I always suspected that licorice sucked.  Now I have scientific proof!

(Via Boing Boing)

Broken Glass candy

Two thoughts...
1) I wish this product really existed and wasn't just a clever design idea.
2) I wonder if parents would let their kids eat this if it ended up in their bag of loot on Halloween.

Unusual candy bowl

I'm going to get one of these skull boxes and keep it on my desk, filled with candy.

Maxim candy

My pal Alan just brought this article to my attention. It's from this month's Maxim magazine - a publication he is 1) probably too old to still be reading and 2) definitely too married to still be reading. How do you think the trick-or-treaters would react to getting
brain-flavored zombie mints , chum candy (with artificial seafood flavor), scorpion suckers, meatball bubblegum, sour cream and onion crickettes, vampire repelling garlic mints and bubble gum cocktail weenies?

Lollipop + costume = Mask Pop!

It's a lollipop and it's a costume! Genius! (More details on this amazing creation at "Branded In The 80s)".

Reach into my pants and take some candy

According to the ad copy, you should "put this creepy cardboard zombie at your door so trick-or-treaters can have a blast pulling candy out of the pocket in his stomach." To me though, it just looks like that poor kid is reaching down some zombie's pants.

Halloween Pez

I had no idea there were so many different types of Halloween-themed Pez dispensers. Pez Central has photos and information on more than 30 different varieties. (Click on "Collection" at the top of the screen and then scroll down to "Halloween" and "Misfits".)

Box of Boogers

I've eaten too many of these today and feel sick.

More gross candy

In keeping with today's gross candy theme, here are a few more spooky sweets that the folks at Candy Addict have tracked down:
Barf Bags (Gummy candy that looks like vomit)
Gummy Flesh Fries (Bloody dismembered fingers)
Candy Blood Bags (Watermelon-flavored liquid candy)
Bug Candy (twist off the bug's head and drink the blood)
Candy with real bugs (Scorpions, worms, crickets and ants embedded in candy)
Deadly Virus Candy (Like "Nerds" but with a twist)
And reviews of 31 other Halloween-themed candies that were big in '06.

Gummy Heart

I wish I'd known about this on Valentine's Day. I'm sure my wife would have really loved to receive a Gummy Heart. And that poem? "My love is pure. My love is true. You can have my heart and eat it too." Who wouldn't melt when reading that?

Gummy Roadkill

It seems as though I spoke too soon. A week ago, in my post about gross candy I mentioned my wish that they would someday produce "gummy roadkill". Well, Brian at Candy Addict wrote to let me know that the product has already come and gone. Produced by Trolli (a subsidiary of Kraft), "Gummy Candy Roadkill" consisted of three animals; a snake, a chicken and a squirrel, each with a tire track down the middle. Unfortunately, production was halted when animal rights groups argued it "fosters cruelty toward animals."

Gross Candy

After spending months creating original, eye-popping decorations for your front yard, doesn't it seem strange to hand out the same boring Snicker's Bars and Blow-Pops as your neighbors?

Here's an alternative... This site reviews and provides links to some of the grossest candy around. There are white chocolate maggots, candy toilets, and bloody eyeball lollipops. If only someone would start selling gummy roadkill. Then all of my wildest Halloween dreams really would have come true.