UNICEF - Evil King of Halloween

(Ever wonder where all of that UNICEF money goes? Check out this funny bit from Simon Rich's recent New Yorker article "The Wisdom of Children".)

'A Day at UNICEF Headquarters, as I Imagined It in Third Grade'

(UNICEF sits on a throne. He is wearing a cape and holding a sceptre. A servant enters, on his knees.)

UNICEF: Halloween is fast approaching! Have the third graders been given their little orange boxes?

SERVANT: Yes, your majesty!

UNICEF: Perfect. Did you tell them what the money was for?

SERVANT: No, sir, of course not! We just gave them the boxes and told them to collect for UNICEF. We said it was for “a good cause,” but we didn’t get any more specific than that.

UNICEF: Ha ha ha! Those fools! Soon I will have all the money in the world. For I am UNICEF, evil king of Halloween!

SERVANT: Sir . . . don’t you think you’ve stolen enough from the children? Maybe you should let them keep the money this year.

UNICEF: Never! The children shall toil forever to serve my greed!

(He tears open a little orange box full of coins and rubs them all over his fat stomach.)

UNICEF: Yes! Oh, yes!

SERVANT: Wait! Your majesty! Look at this! Our records indicate that there’s a kid out there—Simon—who’s planning to keep his UNICEF money this year.

UNICEF: What?! But what about my evil plans? I was going to give that money to the Russians so they could build a bomb!

SERVANT: (aside) I guess there’s still one hero left in this world.

UNICEF: No!

(He runs out of the castle, sobbing.)

SERVANT: Thank God Simon is keeping his UNICEF money.

SECOND SERVANT: Yes, it’s good that he’s keeping the money.

THIRD SERVANT: I agree. Simon is doing a good thing by keeping the money from the UNICEF box.

SERVANT: Then we’re all in agreement. Simon should keep the money.

Zombie Survival Guide

I love this attacking zombie shot of Naija Blue by Jeff Cohn!

(Click here to see more photography by Jeff. ***Warning, some of the images on his site are NSFW.)

Purim - The Jewish Halloween

How could I not know about this holiday? During Purim
(which ends today), people dress up in costume and give out inexpensive treats to their friends. And the best part? "One of the most well-known (and beloved) aspects of the Purim festive meal is that each adult participant is obliged to become so drunk that he or she cannot distinguish between the phrases, 'Cursed be Haman' and 'Blessed be Mordecai'." Sign me up!

Skull & crossbones toaster

This is a great idea! A toaster that burns a skull & crossbones into your toast? Why didn't I think of that?

For everyone out there who doesn't feel like paying $44 for a novelty toaster, here's a simple and inexpensive way to get the same effect. Using an X-acto knife, cut your desired image out of aluminum foil. Then, wrap a piece of bread in the foil (with the exposed image facing up). Next, toast as usual - this should "toast" the chosen image onto the bread while leaving the rest of the bread untoasted. Once it has cooled, remove the foil and toast the bread once again. The already toasted section will continue to get darker while the rest of the bread ends up appropriately toasted.

Cannibalism - Japanese-style

How bizarre is this? Diners sit at an operating table and consume a "body" made entirely of food. When the body is cut open, it "bleeds" and exposes edible organs and interstines. Weird.

Real bug wallpaper

Unlike the ant wallpaper I wrote about earlier, these wall coverings are made with real bugs. Artist Jennifer Angus uses dead insects to create giant installations that explore ideas of home and comfort.

Ant wallpaper

This wallpaper is admittedly one of the least "Halloween-y" items I've written about. Still, I think there's a certain "haunted house" quality to any wallpaper whose design is composed of thousands of ants.